


Necesito

by uswnt_talex_krashlyn



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-07-29 11:28:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7682734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uswnt_talex_krashlyn/pseuds/uswnt_talex_krashlyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically just really really angsty one shot for O'Solo</p><p>Per usual the result of me listening to The Civil Wars. And my late night ADHD brain.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Necesito

You've been avoiding her. 

And yes it's childish and stupid because it's HER. But you do it anyway. You do it for you. 

And maybe taking care of yourself is all you need. Because Hope never did. 

But even avoiding her, you notice her stares.

And fuck how could you not. It's your hope. And if anyone should have known that her eyes would be your ultimate demise, it was you. 

She's persistent. You'll give her that. She always has been. Always gets her way. Hers. Not yours. 

And at first that was okay. It was okay because her way involved you pinned up against the hotel door gasping for breath.  
And it was okay because her way was waiting for you in the locker room after everyone else had left. And it was okay because sometimes, every once in a while, you got to really BE with Hope. 

And it was okay. 

Until it wasn't. 

Until it was her way. But her way now included going back to him. And her way involved pretending you didn't exist whenever he visited. And after he visited, pinning you up against the locker room and making you scream her name. 

Like you were her's.

But she was never your's. 

It took you a long time to realize that part. That Hope wasn't yours. 

Maybe it was because she didn't want to be. Or maybe it was because she couldn't be. But it didn't really matter now. 

You knew this. But your sure as hell know that Hope's eyes don't. 

Because they search for you. At every practice. Every meeting. Every game. 

Her eyes are on you. And they're suffocating.

Mostly because you think she must revel in it, The thought of you BEING her's. 

 

But now your here. Avoiding her eyes as if one glance will, without a doubt, cause you severe damage. But she continues to stare. Continues to stare straight into your head as your eyes never leave your feet. 

And then it all shifts. Her eyes stop tracing you. And now when you look at her, she looks broken. And frankly it pisses you off. 

As if you caused the damage. 

One day after practice you've had enough of the moping so you approach her. It's your first contact in months. She chose him. You remind yourself of this almost eveyday. And it still doesn't feel real. 

You wait until the locker room is cleared out. And she just stands there. Facing her locker. Pretending to put her gloves away. You know because you've watched her do it for the last 5 minutes. 

"Seriously Hope. "

You surprise yourself with how confident you sound. 

She opens your mouth but your not ready. Not ready to hear the excuses. Or much more damagingly, the apology. 

"Please take a break from the pity face. Because I'm done. You chose. YOU. not me Hope! And you sure as hell don't get to make me feel like shit for the choices you've made"

 

The rest of camp goes by without anymore confrontations. The sadness goes away. But your pending guilt doesn't. And while this makes you mad, there's nothing hope is doing to pursue it now. 

 

And then before you realize it your in Rio. Amongst the best athletes in the world. Starting right back. And Hope seems like a distant memory. Some days the memory is a nightmare. But sometimes it's a fairytale. 

Either way, you haven't spoken to her in months. 

And you're happy. And it feels strange. Like you weren't ever ment to feel this way again. But you do. 

And then suddenly it shifts again. You're rooming with Hope. 

She smiles politely now. Like a child who's been told to behave themselves. But you can see it. Deep in her eyes. The ones that captivate you. You see the lost. The desperation. And possibly scariest of all, the lonely. 

She asks you which bed you want. And you ignore the way the hair on your arms stands up as her voice reaches your ears. 

 

And then your walking back from dinner on the first day and she's crying when you walk in. 

And it's weird you think. How a normal person can't really even imagine what Hope looks like when she cries. But it's very familiar to you. And this vision haunts you. 

But just as the scene in front of you became too familiar, she's built up her walls. And they're thick and have spikes on the edges in the form of a glare. And to most the glare was terrifying. But to you it was just a guise. 

And Hope knows you can see through it because she wipes the tears from her eyes. 

"Are you okay?"

God that was probably the dumbest thing you've ever said to her. And honestly you just can't help it. you almost start laughing. So you walk over to her. But you don't sit. Or lay. You just stand. 

"Kel.... I. I'm so"

And then you can feel the pain. It hits you in a relatively small wave. But the feeling is so familiar you can taste it in the air. 

So you terminate it before it can fester. 

"Don't."

And with that you give her a sad smile and walk out. 

 

Looking back you were probably naive. To think that she would change, wouldn't be so persistent. She did seem different. But hope always got her way. 

So when she sits next to you at dinner right before your fist Olympic game, you should've been ready. 

Ready for her hand to creep under the table cloth onto your left thigh. 

Ready for your breathing to catch slightly causing you to choke a little on the water you were drinking. 

Ready for the subtle smirk on Hope's lips. 

Ready for the feeling that creeps back into you. The feeling of being her's. And it's familiar and painful but mostly it's just numbing. 

So you don't move her hand. Instead you allow it to creep up. Closer to where you know hope is thinking about. And suddenly your disgusted. 

She's using you. Maybe for sex. Maybe for some fucked up power move. But she's using you. And she thinks she can do this whenever she wants. Because your her's. And Hope always gets her way. 

You excuse yourself from dinner and head up to your room to get ready for the game. And thank god she has the respect not to follow you. 

 

You played amazing. Contributing offensively and communicating well defensively. You know it. 

So when Jill comes up to you after the game and tells you that you won't be starting against France, you try really hard to understand. 

But it's just hard. And it only gets harder when you walk into your room and Hope is sitting in her bed reading with a smirk pointed in your direction. 

"Hope. Jesus Christ what do you want!"

"I thought it was kind of obvious what I want Kelley. "

Fuck she's cocky. And now your a little bit less mad and a little more intimidated. 

"Yea well we don't always get what we want."

You understand the multiple connotations that hope could draw from your words, but honestly your too tired to care. 

And with that you grab some cloths and hurry into the shower. 

 

Once you finish you feel more relaxed. And maybe just a little bad about what you said to hope. She was crying the other night. 

You emerge in old Stanford shorts and a t shirt from 2008. 

Hope looks up from her book and unashamedly checks you out. 

You want to roll your eyes. Make a snide remark about how she's MARRIED. But something in her eyes stop you. 

"You played great today."

She says it sincerely but you roll your eyes. Recalling the news Jill delivered earlier. 

Something in hope seems to snap then. It's like she no longer cares about controlling herself. 

She stands up. Almost challenging you to move. But you don't. Because as much as it hurts to admit it out loud. Hope has always been there. She's been your rock. And for that reason you are her's. No matter how much she hurts you. 

She walks closer and slowly walks you up against the door. Then her face is only an inch from yours and her lips are parting slightly. 

But your tired. Tired of doing everything and the way your supposed to and getting no reward. So you stop waiting for Hope to kiss you and you smash your lips into hers. 

It's heated. As her tongue reacquaints itself with yours. It's familiar. But God you need more. 

But it doesn't matter what you need. It's hope now. She's in control. Physically and mentally she dominates you. 

So she pushes you. Harder. Into the wall next to the door. You moan out slightly. You always did like some pain with your pleasure. And hope always had known exactly how to fulfill your needs. 

And in this moment her eyes are predatory. They're not sorry. And it's exactly what you want. 

She wants it slow. And your not sure why at first but then you realize it's because she knows you need it fast. So she pins your wrists above your head. 

And she kisses you at your pulse point on your neck. You gasp. She loves it. 

"Fuck... Hope... Please"

She holds your hands above your head but inches back and just stares at you. 

 

You squirm under her. Needing the release. 

"Stop." It's not a request. It's a command. So you stop struggling. 

She lets go of your wrists and lifts your t shirts over your head slowly. Your not wearing a bra and suddenly this makes you feel very exposed. You bring your arms up to cover your chest. 

Hope's gaze softens at your action. You stare down at the floor. 

"Kelley?"

She lifts your chin with her hand and looks into your eyes. 

"Hope I don't know if I can do this."

She looks regretful. Like there were two roads and she took the wrong one. 

"Kel I didn't mean to make you–"

You kiss her. Gently this time. But your hands remain covering your chest. 

You break the kiss and her gaze is on the ground and she backs up. Your not sure what she's thinking. It was hard. To read her. Even knowing her the way you do. Shes fragile even though she tries so hard not to be. 

"Hope you know I trust you."

She nods but she doesn't believe you. You can at least tell when she's lieing. 

"I want you. But I don't want you just now. I can't have you, For just now. "

This time she picks up her head slightly and moves tward you again. 

"I know Kelley."

It was funny the way she said it. Like there was hope somewhere in all of it. And it confused you more than anything so she continues. 

"I want to be your's. If you'll let me."

You scoff at her. 

"What Hope? Yours when he's not here?Or yours when we room together? Or maybe that's too consistent? What about yours whenever you feel like I'm worth it?!"

Her eyes fill with tears. You knew that would hurt her. But what would hurt more would be her promising to be yours and not. 

"You've always been worth it Kelley. Don't think for a second you weren't good enough. That part was all me"

 

It's like your just now seeing everything. Why Hope never fully showed herself to you. Why she always had to leave. She thought she would break you. As if she hadn't already done just that. 

The tears stream down her face. And she doesn't hide them from you. You remove your arms from your chest and place them on either side of Hope's face. 

This kiss is different. It doesn't feel like a goodbye or maybe a last time. It feels like a beginning. It's not rushed but very passionate. Her lips move in tune with yours. Her tongue no longer claiming dominance.  
You move her hand to your ribcage. Her hands are gentle. You walk her over to the bad and lay her down. You straddle her. 

"Your so beautiful kel"

You start to kiss down her jawline to her neck. You remove her shirt and stare for a second. Not just at her chest. But her eyes. They're different. Not guarded. Completely Hope. 

You kiss down her chest. Sucking on each breast. Leaving small red marks that only you will get to see. 

Then you reach her core and she's breathing heavily. She moans out your name. You work her up until her back arches off the bed and her abs flex and Hopes pure pleasure is the only thing your worried about. 

You kiss your way back up. She opens her eyes into yours. Into your naked body on top of hers. 

Then she places both hands on your hips and rolls you both over so she's hovering above you. 

"You've always been worth it too" you whisper in her ear. And she looks up at you with so much adoration and love that your not sure what to do next. But hope has it covered. She kisses the small smile off your face and down your jaw. She kisses hard. Trying to portray all her emotions. This is your favorite Hope. Unguarded. Determined 

She kisses down your stomach and finally down to your core. She gently sucks your clit. Then she adds a finger inside you and you moan her name. 

Her eyes are hooded with lust but you can tell she's trying to show you how much you mean to her. 

She adds another finger and as she works you up she sucks on your breasts. You come hard around her two fingers and tongue on your clit. 

She kisses you deeply and you can taste yourself on her. 

Then she just looks into your eyes smiling. 

 

"Kelley I'm in love with you"

A large smile breaks out across your face. 

"Hope promise me you'll be mine."

"I will be yours as long as you'll have me"

"I love you too"

**Author's Note:**

> Hope u guys like!!! Lmk. Definately taking suggestions for future chapters. 
> 
> Wasnt really in love with this ending. But I wanted u guys to have a little closure and sappyness <3


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